The forbidden fruit...

A common question, I am facing nowadays : So when are you giving us a treat? Any good news? Any updates? Some people even ask me the question very directly: When are you getting married?

Often I do not have the answer ...hence, I have been trying to avoid these questions in many ways.Sometime I say : Just now I have started my career. I need to settle and gain confidence in my job....Some other time I say: I am doing my higher studies and after completing it, I will jump to get married....But nowadays there is a change in my answer. I say : "Yaaa....Marriage is fixed in heaven and I am waiting for that to happen on earth"....But how many more days can I escape from these questions by giving these answers ...

Many people think that I am already married and having children as well. Recently, a new joinee in my dept; asked me about my marital status on the lunch table. As a joke, I answered that I am married and have two children. After that they started asking about those children...It was very funny for me at the time...But, many such incidents forced me to think about my marriage. I thought it was time for me to get married..I talked to couple of my friends who are married and asked for some suggestions...I got lot of a comments, and many were quite negative. One friend told me : You are a happy person man, be happy for couple of more years. Do not get married so soon. Remember one thing, "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage". Remember this and then decide. Another friend said: If you think you have lived enough then only think about marriage.. No marriage is a success & no one is happy after marriage. That is the reason "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret ". Also a happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes. ...Be careful before you face such a shocking surprise.

 I do not understand why people see the movie first and then they tell you not to watch it because it is a waste of time. They themselves never miss any chance to watch any movies but they will not give you a single chance to watch any. The same way people get married but they will try their best to convince you not to marry....I strongly believe that all married people are jealous, they do not want others to get the things what they have already achieved, experienced & enjoyed. Finally in spite of so much negative feedback, I decided to get married.... 

I thought of telling my mother first. One day at home, I was seated on the sofa and she came with a cup of tea. Handing over the cup to me, She took a seat beside me.... I turned to her and then with hesitation I started, "Mom, Do not you think that I should get married now? " She came a bit close and in a relaxed voice, She told, "Son, Why do you worry? So many people older then you are still yet to be married...there is still time for you" ... Suddenly one questions popped up in my mind, "Why you and my father got married where as the chief minister of orissa Mr Naveen Patnaik (much older then you ) is still yet to marry...." But I did not feel good to express this aloud.. Instead, I tried to convince my mom, I told, " Mom, Who do I have in Banglore? I am sick of eating food outside. Also I am feeling very lonely, all my friends are married and they are occupied in their own lives and they dont have time to meet me..I am getting irritated and also I am getting older day by day and it is very difficult to get a match if I get too old...“ My tea got cold.. But... I won her over. Then to my surprise my father called me to his room. I was seated & He started telling me, "Son, Now it is time for you to get married. we are looking for an engineer bride for you“. I suddenly stood up ! I replied, "Papa, I want a nice girl to marry not an engineer.. I want a life partner who supports me through out my life, not a competitor who challenges me at every moment...He gave me the example of my mom and how she was not working and how he suffered while providing for the family. After all these long arguments, finally, somehow I got a chance to express my view on choosing my life partner before my father. I got irritated after getting so many negative comments from all the people I faced including my father. Even at this age he has a problem with his wife..I did not understand why people think their married life as a burden for them. Why do they not understand the best part of married life? Why do their hearts not feel the great feelings of marriage, „union of two souls“ ? Every unmarried person knows how exciting a married life is, but there is no fun in just knowing.. we have to experience and feel it. How would it be, if someone would be waiting for you when you return from a long tiring day at the office....At the door step..As soon as you knock the door a beautiful lady will eagerly open the door...How all your office tension vanish on seeing her beautiful smile...How would it be if some special one, prepares food especially for you to eat... How lovely it would be, eating that food... Why people do not feel this...At least someone will be there always with you whenever you are sad. Someone will come to you to support you, to be with you.. to stay with you for a life time, leaving all her near and dear ones apart... If you see a lot of affection, love & care in her eyes then how would you feel... That is the real world, real life... After telling all these as well, if I ask, many of you will still advice me not to marry...I agree Marriage has no guarantees, but if a gaurantee is what you're looking for, go live with a car battery with life time warranty....Marriage is something like this: If you are given a very good bat and ball, but you do not know how to play cricket. then it is your fault if you do not enjoy....I would recommend you to learn how to play, then play and enjoy. It may be a bit difficult learning things but that is the way to go...

With all such experience, finally I decided to taste the forbidden fruit... Considering the Great Philosopher Socretise's line: By all means marry; if I get a good wife, I'll be happy. If I get a bad one, I'll become a philosopher.

Cheers !

This was one of my speech[CC6] in Toastmaster International.