Everyone born intelligent

Call it as parental pressure. Call it parental expectations. Whatever you may name it, the result is the same: Children stress. It starts as soon as a child reaches kindergarten. It turns play into competitive sport. It turns the joy of learning into a struggle to excel. It turns friends into social connections and charitable acts into a line on a resume.

Dear TM and guests…

Few weeks back, I went to my sister’s house. She has a 4 years old daughter. In the evening as my sister was teaching her. I found my niece answering all most all of my sister’s questions. ‘Oh she is learning well!’ I commented casually. To that my sister gave me a frowned look and complained that my niece was doing well till last year and that she had secured first in her section by scoring 98%.  But this year she had scored only 95%. Other students are improving but she is not doing well

I started thinking. Is she old enough to be measured?   When parents started talking like this before the children, won’t it be adversely impacting their young mind? My sister’s only concern is the number of marks my niece will score next year.  Irrespective of socioeconomic status, as parents we all want our kids to have a better life than what we did. Hence  Instead of nurturing a generation of happy young adults who feel driven to succeed, parents who are hyper-focused on doing everything "right" have created a country full of kids who are stressed-out, burned-out, and depressed. All parents seems to be preoccupied with "a narrow and shortsighted vision of success," and that we rely on our kids to "provide status and meaning in our own lives

YoungMinds, an NGO, focuses the children's mental health, says nearly one million children between the ages of five and 15 now have mental health problems like depression and anxiety and the numbers look set to keep on rising. Gavin Baylis, a spokesman for YoungMinds, says, 'In the past 20 years, mental health problems have got worse, they are being shown in younger children and they are getting more complex.' Over 50% of the World's children are brought up in stressful conditions, says UNESCO.

We have to realize that everyone is important and special in different way.  A knife cannot do the work of a needle.  If the innocence and peace loving animal rabbit, tries to be furious and cruel to make horror, then it will simply loose its value. It will not be admired and loved. They are good at their own place with respect to their skill and properties.

As parents, we have to learn our jobs as we go along. Although we love our children, we soon realize that love isn’t all that’s needed. We need patience and creativity too, and sometimes, these qualities seem to be in short supply. Learning how to be a parent will probably continue until all your children are grown up. Because each child is unique, what worked with Joe will not necessarily work with Sally, and what worked for Sally probably will not help you cope with George. There are many different goals and there are many different way to achieve that. The same formula will not work for everyone neither everyone can be placed at number one.

I am telling you a small story. There is a famous quote it says, “Early bird catches the worm”.  After knowing this a mother bird tells it’s lazy children to get up early and go for worm. They got up early but that day they did not find any worm. Because what had happened is in the same day, as the worm started getting up early their mother told them that, “Why are you getting up early? Do you want to be eaten by the early rising birds?”  This clearly shows that the same way may not work for everyone. We should know where are we placed, whether our children are birds or worms? Based on that we should do what is suitable for us. It does not matter what the society or the market or your manager or parents want. What really matters is, what the kid wants and what her interest & passion are. If she continues doing that then she will be a satisfied and successful person.

Do not compare your kid with anyone else. Take your child out of the current rat race. She is good in her own place and she is special. Only thing is we should try finding what her speciality is and start exploring that. That is the way she will develop. Everyone without an exception has some or other talent – something that comes easy to them. It could be talents of numbers, playing with piano, getting along with people, business, and swimming. If you can find something you are really good at, you are more likely to succeed at it. You have given yourself a head start.

This was one of my speech[CC9] in Toastmaster International under the guidance of our beloved Chinmaya Nayak Bhai