God once summoned all husbands in heaven and said, “Line up if you fear your wives. The brave souls… form the other line.” ......... Boom! ..........The “fear” line stretched longer than the queue in Tirumala temple Free Darshan with free ladoos! The “brave” line? Only one man stood alone. God raised an eyebrow, “You don’t fear your wife?” The man whispered, “I do… but she told me never to admit it publicly. If I do, not even You can save me!”. Survival is mandatory, truth is optional.
Ladies and Gentlemen!
By now all husbands know exactly which line they belong to. To understand which line I belong to, let me take you back to 2010.
I had full head of hair, job from a branded company, house with no EMI. I was so confident — even my mirror used to salute me: “Yes, boss!”
-------Swamiji--------
While I was on a spiritual trip, I met a Swamiji — wise and serene, sitting on a rock. I asked him,
“Swamiji, how should I lead my life?” He said, “There are two sacred ways, dear son. Love God — and you are a monk. Love a woman — and you are a householder. Both are divine expressions of the same truth.”.”
Now tell me — at that age, how can I connect with a formless God? On the other side Women with smile and sense, form & fashion! So, natually I chose emotion over devotion and , I fell in love.. And that’s how my spiritual journey… took a romantic U-turn!
“Swamiji, how should I lead my life?” He said, “There are two sacred ways, dear son. Love God — and you are a monk. Love a woman — and you are a householder. Both are divine expressions of the same truth.”.”
Now tell me — at that age, how can I connect with a formless God? On the other side Women with smile and sense, form & fashion! So, natually I chose emotion over devotion and , I fell in love.. And that’s how my spiritual journey… took a romantic U-turn!
-------Dad--------
Anybody has a phylosophical dad ?? My dad is the Indian version of Socrates. He can find philosophy in anything. I told him, “Dad, I want to marry her!”
He said, “Son… I understand. But these are emotional decisions. Take your time. Life is a Thinking-through process. Do not jump.”
I said, “I can’t wait even a minute, Dad. I’ve already thought it through!”
-------New Marriage--------
Marriage was magical. I cracked jokes — she laughed. I told stories — she was amused.
She asked me before doing anything: “What to eat?” “What to buy?” “What to wear?”
I was impressed! Any wives ask their husbands these days? .. Newly married...
I quit smoking, no more late nights, no more bad habits…Yet she was suspicious, like a CBI officers, thinking, “Why doesn’t this man ever get caught?”
-------Mom's food--------
She asked me before doing anything: “What to eat?” “What to buy?” “What to wear?”
I was impressed! Any wives ask their husbands these days? .. Newly married...
I quit smoking, no more late nights, no more bad habits…Yet she was suspicious, like a CBI officers, thinking, “Why doesn’t this man ever get caught?”
-------Mom's food--------
Once I requested her to make parathas like my mom. She said, “Do you know how much oil your mom puts?” Apparently, my mom doesn’t cook — she fries!
Another time, I said, “Your rasam tastes different.” She said, “That’s because I don’t add drama like your mom does!” (beat) My mom’s rasam comes with background music.
Once, I praised her mom’s breakfast, just to make her happy. She said, “Then every time you go there why does your face look like you’re attending a condolence meet ?” I realized: How can I face the problem, if my face is the problem?
-------Unmarriad--------
Another time, I said, “Your rasam tastes different.” She said, “That’s because I don’t add drama like your mom does!” (beat) My mom’s rasam comes with background music.
Once, I praised her mom’s breakfast, just to make her happy. She said, “Then every time you go there why does your face look like you’re attending a condolence meet ?” I realized: How can I face the problem, if my face is the problem?
-------Unmarriad--------
Unmarried and newly married people can never relate.
They still think “compromise” means sharing dessert.
We know it means collapsing before answering… and then apologizing for collapsing incorrectly!
-------Isolation--------
They still think “compromise” means sharing dessert.
We know it means collapsing before answering… and then apologizing for collapsing incorrectly!
-------Isolation--------
Before marriage, I had friends, cousins, weekend plans, and a social life.
After marriage, my only plan is to plan according to her plan! Slowly, my friend circle became a semi-circle… then a dot. They say husbands secretly admire their wives’ friends. I didn’t keep it secret. My wife didn’t keep the friends.
Some of my friends started calling me VIP — Very Isolated Person.
That’s when I realized: I’m not married… I’ve been acquired!
Slowly, visible women started to look impractical, illogical… no-sense.Invisible God felt peaceful. Now I understand why Swamiji chose monkhood.
Monks wake up at 4 a.m. to meditate.
Married men wake up at 4 a.m. to say, “Sorry, I kicked you in my sleep.”
I tried smiling in the mirror. Even the mirror said, “Bro, let’s not pretend today.”
I told him, “Dad, I want to get rid of this marriage.!”
He said, “Son… I understand. But these are emotional decisions. Take your time. Life is a Thinking-through process.”
I said, “I can’t wait even a minute, Dad. I’ve already thought it through!”
I slowly understood my father's philosophy and got enough practical training from my wife. We decided to take time & think it through.... We stopped blaming each other. We started blaming the maid, the traffic, and the weather; but never to each other’s mothers When sad, Even we blame our karma — cheaper than therapy! Right ...
Now, a third person has joined us — we’re enjoying a “threesome”: My wife, me… and the invisible God.
No more jokes — only bhajans and kirtans. No more emotion — only devotion. No more fights — because silence is salvation. Enlightenment didn’t just visit — it settled down with us!
I’m still searching for that Swamiji — to tell him the truth: Marriage is the fastest route to meet God.
Being married You must pray, surrender & reflect. But Please do not take a romantic U turm from your spiritual journey.
So next time God calls for a queue, I’ll smile and before moving an inch, I will say,[wear hat]
“Lord, I am an enlightened husband ..... , I’m not in line — I’m in love"-
Props:
1. One God's photo
2. A paper-strip cap labeled “Enlightened Husband”
3. A chair without a hand rest
After marriage, my only plan is to plan according to her plan! Slowly, my friend circle became a semi-circle… then a dot. They say husbands secretly admire their wives’ friends. I didn’t keep it secret. My wife didn’t keep the friends.
Some of my friends started calling me VIP — Very Isolated Person.
That’s when I realized: I’m not married… I’ve been acquired!
Slowly, visible women started to look impractical, illogical… no-sense.Invisible God felt peaceful. Now I understand why Swamiji chose monkhood.
Monks wake up at 4 a.m. to meditate.
Married men wake up at 4 a.m. to say, “Sorry, I kicked you in my sleep.”
I tried smiling in the mirror. Even the mirror said, “Bro, let’s not pretend today.”
I told him, “Dad, I want to get rid of this marriage.!”
He said, “Son… I understand. But these are emotional decisions. Take your time. Life is a Thinking-through process.”
I said, “I can’t wait even a minute, Dad. I’ve already thought it through!”
I slowly understood my father's philosophy and got enough practical training from my wife. We decided to take time & think it through.... We stopped blaming each other. We started blaming the maid, the traffic, and the weather; but never to each other’s mothers When sad, Even we blame our karma — cheaper than therapy! Right ...
Now, a third person has joined us — we’re enjoying a “threesome”: My wife, me… and the invisible God.
No more jokes — only bhajans and kirtans. No more emotion — only devotion. No more fights — because silence is salvation. Enlightenment didn’t just visit — it settled down with us!
I’m still searching for that Swamiji — to tell him the truth: Marriage is the fastest route to meet God.
Being married You must pray, surrender & reflect. But Please do not take a romantic U turm from your spiritual journey.
So next time God calls for a queue, I’ll smile and before moving an inch, I will say,[wear hat]
“Lord, I am an enlightened husband ..... , I’m not in line — I’m in love"-
Props:
1. One God's photo
2. A paper-strip cap labeled “Enlightened Husband”
3. A chair without a hand rest
===========================few more notes=========================
I remember my father’s words, "I think it through"…And I say, “Baby, You look divine.”
Snoring Is a Marital Weapon and Husbands are real worrier in that.
Blanket Battles Are Universal and sometime husband wins that at 3 AM
Marriage Reduces Your Vocabulary and hence I am in Toastmasters.
Men Hear Less After Marriage. They develop selective hearing - It’s not a defect—it’s a survival instinct.
We still say ‘I love you’—right after saying ‘You never listen!
Married Men Live Longer… But Are More Willing to Die . Statistically, married men live longer than bachelors. “Because they’re too scared to die without permission.”
The Most Dangerous Question in Marriage Is… “Do I look fat in this?” “There is no correct answer. Only consequences.”
“Even sages didn’t have to choose between two sarees that look exactly the same!”
1. Marriage Is the Leading Cause of “Silent Treatment” Worldwide
And it’s not silent—it’s emotionally loud.
“When she says ‘Do what you want,’ it’s not permission—it’s a dare.”
2. The Average Husband Gains 6–10 Kilos After Marriage
Not from food… from emotional weight.
“Each ‘Yes dear’ adds a kilo to the soul.”
3. Couples Spend 60% More Time Arguing About Food Than Eating It
“By the time we decide, the restaurant’s closed and I’m chewing regret.”
4. In Ancient Texts, Grihastha Was a Sacred Duty
But they didn’t mention the sacred duty of holding her purse during shopping.
“Even Arjuna didn’t face this in the battlefield!”
5. Women Speak 13,000 More Words Per Day Than Men
And husbands hear only 17 of them—usually “You forgot again.”
“Selective hearing isn’t a flaw—it’s a coping mechanism.”
6. The Most Googled Phrase by Married Men Is… “How to Apologize Without Knowing What You Did”
“Because in marriage, guilt is a default setting.”
9. Marriage Is the Only Institution Where You Can Be Wrong Even When You’re Right
“Logic ends where love begins… and fear continues.”
10. In Some Cultures, Grihastha Is Considered a Warrior’s Path
Because surviving a saree selection session is tougher than Kurukshetra.”
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